Aug 19 2009
Help- it’s world war three over homework!
Oh, don’t I know it! I have heard it all- “I forgot my book”, “The teacher didn’t give it to me”, I lost my assignment notebook”, or my favorite-”I’ll do it in school, my teacher won’t care”. It doesn’t matter what age, what grade, or sex of the child. Almost every parent has heard the excuses, and many of us hear it much more than we care to. I’ll give you some guidelines that helped me. Many of my ideas come from a book from Dr. John Rosemond- “How to stop the homework hassle”. Bless you Dr Rosemond.
What to do? I ask every day if homework is done, I nag, I offer help, it’s a cycle you and your child need to get out of. There is one very important fact you need to learn as a parent. It may be hard to swallow, even harder to admit, but YOU finished your school years and it is you childs responsibility to do their homework. It is your job to give them all possible tools to do so. Notice I say all tools possible, not everything is available for every family. Time, jobs and funds vary in every home and we all do the best we can. If you do not own a computer or have internet access, you may have to help your student get a library card, stay late at school to use the computer lab, or access information in more creative ways. That does not mean you are to DO the homework, or report, or collage. You give them access to the tools to do them. Here is the line my children learned to hate “You are responsible for your homework, not me. You will ultimately be held responsible for you grades, not me, I’m done with school”
I ask you, did our parents do our homework? Did your parents stay up half the night typing your reports? Did your Mom spend days using scrapbook supplies to finish your assignments? Not in my house! My Mom worked, my Dad worked, my brothers had their own things to do. If I had a report or paper to do, I went to the library at school or the one one Main St and researched my paper, wrote it and handed it in. I drew my pictures and colored them, I glued my own collage together. I do remember one of my parents taking me to the local travel agency to get information on Spain and I thought I was the luckiest kid in school.
The point to all this is that your child is in school, your child is getting and education, you are all done. You survived doing it by yourself and no one died in the process. At what point in history did your childs ’success in school become your success? I tell you now, as a teaching assistant and a parent, you do your child no good doing it for them. Constantly fussing and fixing their work tells them they aren’t doing it good enough, they aren’t smart enough. Let it go!
Don’t get me wrong, there is no problem helping a small amount when asked, then back off. You can review the math problem, but please understand, rarely does a teacher give out an assignment that the child has not learned in school. f it is a constant issue that you student says they do not understand the homework, then a consult with the teacher is in order, but I promise that if you do the assignments for your child, they will fall farther and farther behind.
I promised help in getting your child to take responsibility for their own homework assignments. You are saying ” Sure, I tell him he’s responsible for his homework, but he just won’t do it, then he will fail, then what?” I say-take a deep breath here- let them fail. OK, OK, don’t faint. I haven’t told you the best part. Read on.
Before school started I took my daughter to the local office supply store. Most kids love to school shop, so it was easy to get her there. I told her “Whatever you need, buy it now.” Calculator, ruler, pens, erasers, a lamp, poster board, notebooks and the list went on and on. It cost me about $65.00, but money well spent. We brought home our booty,set everything up on her desk, she was so proud, all my kids were so proud that first time. Then I dropped the bomb, right there in her room, it was priceless. I said,” You have every tool you need to do your homework, you should be fully prepared. If you ever need anything else, just let me know, I require 48 hours notice to get said supplies, but I will get what is in my poer and budget at the time, understood?”
I had her hooked. “Oh yes” she said.
Here came the bomb. “Good, because from now on your homework. is your responsibility, not mine. You have no excuses not to do it.” She stared at me, a little nervous now. ” I will not ask you about homework, I will not nag you, nor will I check your homework unless you ask me to, understand?” At this point she looked at me a little nervous still, but feeling better. She hated me asking about homework all the time. Then- Kaboom! “I will check your report card and your progress reports every six weeks. If even one class says missing homework assignment, or a notation says homework not handed in, you will be grounded till the next report comes out.” I thought she would faint here. “You will lose TV, sleepovers, computer time, telephone access and any other outside recreations other than family related outings you are invited to, do you understand?”
She didn ‘t know what to say. I could hear the gears , then she smiled. “No checking my math?” I said not unless you ask. She said ” What if a teacher wants a signature in my homework assignment book?” I told her “Then it is your responsibility to get it to me with a pen, I will not ask or question you like I have been.” She looked at me as if I was crazy, but agreed to the deal.
My next Blog will tell you the results…. 
